january 1st and i happen to be home on the computer.

alright, happy new years or whatever the fuck. really don't care too much to say that shit.

first off, i really don't feel like one of those happy go lucky dudes where since the ball dropped, i'm going to be like "i love you, i love everybody". man, trill talk, fuck that shit. nothing changed. just the time of day. if you were the same person yesterday, you are the same person today. my problems didn't change, i didn't change. it's just the time.

i can't do anything this year but even if i did, i don't see why people try to make new year's out to be something special. why do people wait for new years to start saying "i'm happy to be seeing another year"? no, you should be saying that shit every single time you wake up in the morning. you shouldn't wait to say "i love you" or wait to save your money up or even wait to formulate your plans to do something to help yourself. that's why i said FUCK A NEW YEARS RESOLUTION. if you really want to do it, you'll do it. you won't wait for january 1st to get busy doing what you have to do. if you're ambitious enough, you'll get started right away with it.

i had a drink of jack daniels and you know what, i was going to drink another but fuck that. i was like "hell naw, i'm good". i don't need to over do it. thinking about my L-I-F-E now. it brings me back to where i'm at, where i want to be, and where my head is at. the past few months, i've been thinking about who i am and where i am headed down the road. the thing that scares me is the future because as the days go by, it's coming up to decision time. i know what's coming. i know what's going to happen, the things that i have to do. i know what i have to do. 6 years ago, i didn't have a single idea but now i do. it's crazy because time is moving fast. very fast. before you know it, it's 2013. everybody is all anticipating the end of the world, well guess what? the world is NOT coming to an end. in fact, here's something i never understood. why would you want the world to end if you love life so much? why are you so eager to die? i mean... would people care if the world was going to end if they weren't going to die because that's what's going to happen. i find that very ironic and moronic. people basically talking about think positive, be happy that you're living and then turn around talking about "i'm waiting for judgement day", "i'm ready for the end of the world". fuck the end of the world. i HOPE that day NEVER comes. i don't WANT the world to end. shit, the world hasn't done shit to me for me to wish death on it. dayum, appreciate life, people.

well, with that said, i'm looking forward to a lot of shit this year and as for the things i have to do and will experience this year... i'm trying to be prepared for it but you can never prepare for what you do not know is coming. i hope that i will be around the same time next year to say that i'm happy that i lived through the whole 2012 but i do know that at this point forward, things will happen in my life. things that i know of and things that i don't know of and they will come and go. as time goes on, i'll blog about "life changes" and shit like that.